Thursday, April 16

Dear Janet,

AZ says "Hey!" ~ jk, Actually, there are probably a lot of other things being said but downers-ville; I am all about celebrating the positive!

The DHS report yesterday may have been a little harsh, you know? I mean, really - my dad was an Army Vet and he didn't seem particularly homicidal (lol!) But, there are kind of a whole lot of people out there who were in the military, aren't there? And seriously, you'd never even know it! They came back from killing guys and went to work and raised their families and lived their whole lives without any extremist leanings whatsoever! (Hint hint)

Your apology today is quite decent of you. Apologies are positive ~ like smiles; they sure go a long way to clear up any misunderstandings about suggesting right to life people and people against illegal immigration are also potential terrorists! I understand your alibi that you didn't really read the report, you were just 'briefed' on it. Reading can be so tedious, and surprise! You're in good company with Congress, as far as that goes! Finally, it was pretty nice of you not to whine and get all pouty-faced about how the report was begun during the Bush administration; what's done is done, I say. Water under the bridge.

But, to be fair (and it's always nice to play fair), these are scary times! I totally agree with you that the economy is making crazy crap happen all over the place! Who knows who to trust anymore, really! Even though it seems negative to think about, revising your threat thing could be a positive if it helps keep good Americans safe, right?

I think your people should consider all the really important stuff that security report left out! Since you brought up Timothy McWhatever as the reason smearing vets was O.K., here is a list of other types of American people who might be just as much a threat as guys who shave their heads and live in the woods tattooing themselves with swastikas:

1) Goth High School Students
2) Korean College Students
3) Husbands (separated or divorced mostly, and Alabamans particularly)
4) Vietnamese unemployed guys
5) Mexicans (all kinds)
6) Moms (slutty ones or super religious ones especially)
7) Granddaughters of California Pastors
8) Angry Young Unemployed Disadvantaged Black Men (duh!)
9) Crack-heads & Drunks & Pill-Poppers
10) Sports & Entertainment Celebrities
11) Way Rich Senators from Massachusetts
12) Everyone Who is Mental (creepers!)
13) Religious Cult Weird-os

Wow! Look at what number I stopped at! Even though there are lots more bad apples who might cozy with extremists - you get the idea. I'm sure your professional people could investigate their fellow Americans a little more and come up with a way better list than I have here.

Cheers! Good luck with the Veteran's groups! If you serve doughnuts and coffee, I'm sure they won't mind the metal detector at the door. Thanks again for all you do to protect and serve!

A Fellow Arizonan

p.s. You'll notice I did not mention Muslims or Jews or Lebanese or Native Americans or Somalis. They're having a hard enough time as it is. And everyone already knows Gays are pretty peaceful, except in California. No offense.


Anonymous said...

You left out people who aren't proud of America and those who bow to foreign leaders. And I think the reason Janet "didn't read" the memo, is the same reason congress never reads any of their bills......they can't read. Maybe you should add people who can't read to your list too. And all of the people in shopping center parking lots who ask for money. I'm kind of wary of that huge group. Actually, I'm worried about any "group" which gathers anywhere for anything. I'm so scared now, I think I will go clean all of my assault weapons and make sure the bazooka still works.

Yaj said...

Bull Toro! Janet and B.O. read and approved the "memo." What you see is only the tip of the iceberg. The rest has not been made "public." Hmmm...

I notice that Al Qaida are not to be called "terrorists," but I am, and qualify in about 5 different ways.

Homeland Security is making me feel very insecure. These tele-prompters have too much power. Nobody says anything anymore that is not written by someone else (The Shadow?)and then they claim no responsibility. And that tele-prompter sure makes them say some very stupid stuff!

Oh, I could add a few to your list over there. But I will bite my tongue...

Got any popcorn? You popcorn snobs, you. Well, like they say, once you go Amish White, you don't go back.

Anonymous said...

YES - Baby White Sweet Amish Hulless Popcorn (almost 14lbs.) arrived a few days ago - ! Hallelujah!

For those of you who are still suffering gag-fest fake flavor, hull-infested too many unpopped kernals sicko microwave popcorn, your treat tribulation is over!

This is your salvation:

Yaj said...

I love missionary work.

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