Sunday, December 23

Scented Candles Can Save the World

Have you ever caught yourself smiling stupidly at a t.v. commercial for no reason? I just did and I had to leave the room immediately. I creeped myself out.

It was that Glade scented oil candle commercial with the sappy rendition of “Joy to the World” that would make Three Dog Night give up Rock for religion. Young, beautiful housewives lucky enough to light their very own Glade scented candle must then cavort and pirouette for “joy” amid floating fruits and flowers with all the inspiration of a bad high school girl’s beginning gym dance class. All that dancing explains the coincidentally convenient flowing skirts and dance shoes the candle celebrants are wearing for a very busy day at home ~ lighting candles and dancing.

Who does that?! In a day and age when more kids are raised by daycare, fast food is a mealtime staple, the family calendar is an impossible attempt to coordinate schedules and people can’t go anywhere without a Bluetooth stuck to their head; how do we get the insult and idiocy of a marketing campaign which reduces a modern woman’s day into the struggle to find the right scent? And then dance about it?

And another thing; why this song? Was everyone at the table for that particular Glade strategy meeting under 40? Gotta love Three Dog Night, but we thought it was stupid when it came out. It didn’t matter that it was number 1, it was dumb and meaningless and seemed highly appropriate for guys who probably wrote it on a tour bus powered by Mary Jane fumes. Really, who has a talking, wine-drinking frog for a friend? And that last verse – well, I don’t know for sure, but it doesn’t sound like anything to do with candles to me.

I should start my own marketing company. But first, I've got a lot of candle-lighting to do. After I find my dance shoes.

Joy To The World (As originally performed by Three Dog Night, a # 1 smash hit for 6 weeks in 1971)

Jeremiah was a bullfrog,

Was a good friend of mine,
I never understood a single word he said,
But I helped him a drink his wine.
And he always had some mighty fine wine.

Singin' joy to the world,
All the boys and girls now,
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea,
Joy to you and me.

If I were the king of the world,
I tell you what I'd do,
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the wars,
And make sweet love to you.



You know I love the ladies,
Love to have my fun.
I'm a high night flyer in a rainbow rider.
A straight shootin' son of a gun.
I said a straight shootin' son of a gun


Heidi said...

You don't dance around after you find the right scent and light your candle? :) I think their marketing campaign was to be so "off" that they would be remembered -- in your case it worked!

Anonymous said...


Cynthia said...

You just gave me the missing piece to the unrest I find daily in my home life. I am going to go right out and buy me a dancing whirly-twirly skirt and a glade scented candle. Now I will live with joy, happiness and a clean house. THANK YOU!!!

Bandanamom said...

What? Ya'll don't dance when you light your candles? I DO. but not GLADE. Gross. Yankee, Salt City or Gold Canyon might warrant dancing though.