Thursday, April 3

Parenting so Out There it makes the rest of us Look Amazing

PREFACE to Evolution Part Two:
I don't have very many favorite t.v. shows. I like quite a few, but I hardly ever seem to catch certain shows regularly each week. To illustrate the veracity of this statement, consider the following: I didn't even know there were Mormons on American Idol until Kirk mentioned in in our Art Group tonight, and I only watched the last two episodes of Dancing With the Stars last time because I am obsessed to catch shamelessly attention-greedy stuffed into her girdle Marie Osmond being stupid. Naturally, now she's doing Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem or something and is looking fantastic. Grrr.

I love SuperNanny or Nanny 911. The attraction is simple; where do they find these people that make me at my worst look like a parenting Genius? The shows follow a predictable pattern: frazzled, helpless couple in their huge, beautifully furnished home totally destroyed by their 2.1 children under 7 who ravage the domestic landscape and each other from the minute they wake up until they finally drop unconscious after a 3 hour bedtime fray.

I did not have a "naughty stool", but I was not a melting, quivering mass in front of my 4 year old, either. Of course the results are always wonderful after Nanny teaches the family that structure really does free them from bedlam. It is rewarding to see the parents stop resisting common-sense and finally gain confidence in what Nanny is trying to teach them about their own little children, and each other. It's a beautiful thing.

Following this theme of ludicrously inept parents, and preparing the next installment of my anthropological observations raising a family - Oh my gosh! Just look at this:

And THIS:

All I need now is to hear Marie Osmond has a book coming out.


2 comments:

two forks said...

i'm sorry to inform you that yes, marie osmond does have at least two books out. not children's books, but books nonetheless.

as for "deceptively delicious" i have not agreed with that book from the very beginning. i would say exactly what that article said to all of the girls in my ward who have 2 and 3 and 4 kids... and i was written off as "not understanding" because i didn't have children yet. if you start kids early on good foods they'll eat them - if that is all there is to eat. unless you are leiland and need to douse everything with ranch dressing... or maybe you are james and insist that ketchup is a side dish!

Yaj said...

I think the book is called "New Ways to Serve Fainted Pork." In one recipe, a medium rare roast is over dressed, dropped on the floor, immediately picked up (the five second rule), and all the dinner guests are assured that all is well, all is well... In the end, I hear the recipe doesn't get a very high score with the judges.