Thursday, January 10


The toxic vapors sear my nose

and blacken my tongue,

and having my lungs squeeze closed

is so very fun.

Not to mention my other sad,

defenseless things,

that are twisting and churning

and bursting their seams!

It’s just a matter of time,

of course,

before I’m turned into

a liquefied corpse.

I can feel my liver wither

inside my quivering skin,

my spleen is now rotting

as it begins

to drip down my neck

and happily right into my ear -

(is it done, yet?)

I can still hear her sigh,

“Sit still, don’t squirm!”

while the sadist patiently applies

my Toni home perm.

* Creating a long-lasting curl has been a universal quest for women possibly since the Garden of Eden. Once hair treatment chemicals were formulated to be safe enough for home use in the 50’s, Toni dominated the home permanent market. Regardless of how beautiful and smooth the luscious locks of beauties smiling confidently from the Toni box, actual results were often tragically less.

It became a classic ordeal of growing up a little girl in America to endure the agonies of the home permanent, traditionally perpetrated by mothers everywhere about a week before school pictures.


Cynthia said...

Oh my gosh - we all had home perms. Every house had a set of those little tiny plastic curlers. I can still remember the smell. Can you imagine puttting our daughters through that?? Can you imagine them letting me get near their hair with chemicals? Crazy

Bandanamom said...

This is one of my biggest memories of childhood. My mom STILL gets a perm every 8 weeks or so. I haven't had to face the wrath of a perm since about 1988 I think...

My mom gave Jordan a perm once, she was about 3 I think, and actually sat really still and seemed to like the experience. But she is weird.

My mom used to make us roll our hair in rollers before bed and I have never made Jordan do that - she does it voluntarily quite frequently, but only at her own request. On our recent trip to Idaho she told me that Grandma rolls the curlers much better than I do because her hair stays curly for DAYS and when I do it, it's flat by the end of the day. I'm astounded, I thought I was doing her a favor - I hated that my hair would be so embarassingly curly after my mom rolled it.

two forks said...

what's this business abbout "not putting our daughters through that"

i beg to differ.

i too know the stench and shock of a home perm. and i was born in 1978.