Tuesday, June 3

Scintillatingly Droll

Yawn. Current drama in American politics is blasé no matter what happens. I am not interested in benign polyps of the colon or ear wax removal in anyone's medical history. Kennedy assassinations compared to flagging campaigns must have been done before ~ I mean, really.

The awkward struggle to back-stroke with equanimity after foot-in-mouth statements on foreign diplomacy is like "impeccably bad" *theatre Dan Akroyd only dreamed about on early SNL.

The de-evolution of our national culture is depressing. Did you hear about the Wi-Fi sensitive residents of Santa Fe, NM who are suing the city because they are allergic to deadly signals menacing government buildings? How come no one anywhere else in areas more densely populated than artsy-fartsy little Santa Fe is experiencing this singular affliction? Does this mean I can get hives from my t.v. remote control? I don't know who to sue- Sanyo, Qwest, EverReady or Governor Napalitano.

I feel badly for the kid who tried to siphon gasoline out of a car with a vacuum cleaner (he recovered well enough to graduate with his high school class last week), but - really, what was he thinking? Monday's headliner was pretty much the epitome of our disposable culture: the inventor of the Pringles can died and had his ashes placed in his invention.

We are all attending a grand and sloppy festival of no common sense. Where do they find endless streams of people with abysmal anti-talent and grandiose, nay ~ towering self-confidence to populate all those popular reality shows? This is obviously the back-lash we deserve after 25 years of self-esteem awareness crap; (competition is bad, we can't have a winner because then there would be losers, it takes a village, don't highlight an achiever for fear of offending those that ain't, etc.).

I'm tired of potty-humor movies that do so little to explore dramatic script, inspirational film and a soaring musical score. I'm fed-up with the equivalent of lip-syncing instead of the thrill of real art and classic literature. Where is good old fashioned charm instead of overt sexuality? Finesse instead of le crass? My artist's soul languishes for intellectual and cultural stimulation ~ there should be more poetry in everyday life, deeper content in simple speech, more respect for language and the irrepressible magic of the written word. I need a good laugh.

Engrish:


Eat your heart out Shakespeare ~* Dan Akroyd SNL Theatre Critic Character: Leonard Pinth-Garnell was a recurring character played by Dan Aykroyd. Pinth-Garnell, always clad in a tuxedo and black tie, would lugubriously introduce a short performance of "Bad Conceptual Theater," "Bad Playhouse," "Bad Cinema," "Bad Opera," "Bad Ballet," "Bad Red Chinese Ballet," or "Bad Cabaret for Children," and then exult in its sheer awfulness. Aykroyd played the character nine times from 1977 through 1979, and returned for a single appearance on November 3, 2001, introducing "Bad Conceptual Theater." (The show was hosted at least one time by Laraine Newman as Lady Pinth-Garnell.) Pinth-Garnell was loosely based on the longtime PBS Masterpiece Theatre host Alistair Cooke.

Memorable quotes

  • "Stunningly bad!"
  • "Monumentally ill-advised!"
  • "Perfectly awful!"
  • "Couldn't be worse!"
  • "Exquisitely awful!"
  • "Astonishingly ill-chosen!"
  • "Really bit the big one!"
  • "Unrelentingly bad!"
  • "Rally socks!"
  • "There... That wasn't so good now, was it?"

6 comments:

Yaj said...

Let's see, where to begin? You seem to be as tired of this as I am - and don't think it is any better in "Our Nation's Capitol!" - NOT Capital.

First - to paraphrase a Vietnam era idiom - Sue'em all and let God sort'em out!

Second - no news IS good news!

Third - I am treated to Engrish every day... do not think for a minute that is NOT the goal of the NEA. Dumb'em down so the Dems can control'em later. And don't forget to blame it on the rich...

Fourth - virtually every day I hear a radio ad using improper Engrish phraseology or syntax. Somebody has to know this is happening, but maybe not...

Fifth - I think the solution is to let 120 million MORE illegals into the country who "just want to work...*" to further water down our culture, society and its tongue!

* This is the kind of phrase I hear all the time bantered about by dedicated NPR** listeners. Those who "just want to work" come here legally... my two best friends in our neighborhood are from Ghana and Guatemala. THEY did it legally, not only "just want to work" but they actually want to assimilate too! My "Chapin" friend's word for the illegals is "pigs." That is a pretty strong word! A Chapin (pronounced Chapeen) is a nickname for Guatemalans.

** Upon gaining power, Hitler and Stalin could hardly wait to establish their version of NPR, doing so virtually at the same time. They too called it NPR - National People's Radio, virtually the same thing! Oh, subsidized radio is NOT the role of government in a free society...

I now be feering beder awreddy!

Thank you doctor - see you again next Thursday?

CaliZona said...

Holy Tirade, Batman - calm down!

1. a)I listen to NPR every day, I prefer it because of the different programming format offered there. I also read a lot; (I'm a curious person I guess). I think I can tell when a story has too much bias.
b)I haven't joined a Hitler Returns movement yet.

2. "Engrish" is specifically a Japanese phenom: English is required in school from elementary classes on up...but a little bit is obviously a dangerous thing. They are hungry for anything in English and love to say English phrases but something goes drastically wrong in the attempt. (David's mission was to Japan: he called them "Eggo Bandits" - English Bandits- because the youth especially were beside themselves to wear clothing, etc. featuring what they thought was English and have no idea it was obscene, stupid or totally non-nonsensical).

'Engrish' is an official website of native English speakers who are in Japan and give us the glee of documenting the goofed-up English they encounter constantly in the land of the rising sun.

Anonymous said...

Eigo bandits, not eggo bandits.

Yaj said...

Do they say, "Lego my eigo?"

I am familiar with what Engrish means. You got my personal twist! Lucky you!

Deep breath. Exhale. Deep breath. Exhale. Feering better still!

Thanks for the extra session!
Are we still on for next Thursday?

Andymann said...

I used to work at a movie theatre and I am appalled at the movies that come out these days. Has Hollywood completely run out of ideas? It seems they are bringing back old tv shows, remakes of old movies, every comic book superhero ever printed, or mindless drivel that is rated R and the masses drag their poor children with them rather than leave them at home with a babysitter.

I think you should add Vonage to your "sue" list...

Andymann said...

oh, and my Rachel has come up with a spectacular new word: Craptastic!