Scintillatingly Droll

Yawn. Current drama in American politics is blasé no matter what happens. I am not interested in benign polyps of the colon or ear wax removal in anyone's medical history. Kennedy assassinations compared to flagging campaigns must have been done before ~ I mean, really.

The awkward struggle to back-stroke with equanimity after foot-in-mouth statements on foreign diplomacy is like "impeccably bad" *theatre Dan Akroyd only dreamed about on early SNL.

The de-evolution of our national culture is depressing. Did you hear about the Wi-Fi sensitive residents of Santa Fe, NM who are suing the city because they are allergic to deadly signals menacing government buildings? How come no one anywhere else in areas more densely populated than artsy-fartsy little Santa Fe is experiencing this singular affliction? Does this mean I can get hives from my t.v. remote control? I don't know who to sue- Sanyo, Qwest, EverReady or Governor Napalitano.

I feel badly for the kid who tried to siphon gasoline out of a car with a vacuum cleaner (he recovered well enough to graduate with his high school class last week), but - really, what was he thinking? Monday's headliner was pretty much the epitome of our disposable culture: the inventor of the Pringles can died and had his ashes placed in his invention.

We are all attending a grand and sloppy festival of no common sense. Where do they find endless streams of people with abysmal anti-talent and grandiose, nay ~ towering self-confidence to populate all those popular reality shows? This is obviously the back-lash we deserve after 25 years of self-esteem awareness crap; (competition is bad, we can't have a winner because then there would be losers, it takes a village, don't highlight an achiever for fear of offending those that ain't, etc.).

I'm tired of potty-humor movies that do so little to explore dramatic script, inspirational film and a soaring musical score. I'm fed-up with the equivalent of lip-syncing instead of the thrill of real art and classic literature. Where is good old fashioned charm instead of overt sexuality? Finesse instead of le crass? My artist's soul languishes for intellectual and cultural stimulation ~ there should be more poetry in everyday life, deeper content in simple speech, more respect for language and the irrepressible magic of the written word. I need a good laugh.

Engrish:

Eat your heart out Shakespeare ~* Dan Akroyd SNL Theatre Critic Character: Leonard Pinth-Garnell was a recurring character played by Dan Aykroyd. Pinth-Garnell, always clad in a tuxedo and black tie, would lugubriously introduce a short performance of "Bad Conceptual Theater," "Bad Playhouse," "Bad Cinema," "Bad Opera," "Bad Ballet," "Bad Red Chinese Ballet," or "Bad Cabaret for Children," and then exult in its sheer awfulness. Aykroyd played the character nine times from 1977 through 1979, and returned for a single appearance on November 3, 2001, introducing "Bad Conceptual Theater." (The show was hosted at least one time by Laraine Newman as Lady Pinth-Garnell.) Pinth-Garnell was loosely based on the longtime PBS Masterpiece Theatre host Alistair Cooke.

Memorable quotes

• "Stunningly bad!"
• "Monumentally ill-advised!"
• "Perfectly awful!"
• "Couldn't be worse!"
• "Exquisitely awful!"
• "Astonishingly ill-chosen!"
• "Really bit the big one!"
• "Unrelentingly bad!"
• "Rally socks!"
• "There... That wasn't so good now, was it?"