Wednesday, January 14

Safari-rama-bama

I'm going to Kenya for the Obama safari. You should too, as daily there are more and more close relatives of the American President-elect popping-up out of the bush, eager to host your welcome visit. Of course, this burgeoning family tree seems to be more a branching out of capitalistic opportunity than blood-lines, but that's beside the point.

The Kenya Presidential Heritage Safari is a brilliant supplemental offering to an 11-day game park excursion. The dusty little Lake Victoria village of Nyang'oma Kogelo is the ancestral home of the senior Obama. An Obama step-grandmother still lives in the family home. You may ask for "Mama Sarah" and possibly expect a nice cup of signature Kenya black tea. (Here is Mama. She is actually very regal looking).

Always appreciative of a clever marketing scheme (how fortunate for William Shatner to enjoy the perfect 2nd wind to what might have been a bottom's up career in his very fun and oddly appropriate role as the Price Negotiator!), it is easy to see the rippling benefits of this "Roots" revisited trek.

Nairobi officials are finally considering road works and other desperately needed infrastructure improvements to accommodate Land Rover loads of enthusiastic American pilgrims inconvenienced by pesky, narrow dirt roads. Locals are especially motivated to put on their best 'good neighbor' face in addition to offering a host of affordable, genuine souvenirs. In a place that was very recently convulsing in a violent, bloody ethnic war after their presidential election ~


it is astonishing what can quickly be accomplished in hopes of luring back the tourist dollar from 'in-your-face' Tanzania. What's more, there is a real hope that attention to the new American president's fatherland will generate coveted U.S. relations.

The historic safari with the big name is the marketing genius of a White South African-born travel agent based out of New York, Mr. Kenneth Hieber. Being an entrepreneur with a 6th sense for exploiting popular trends, Bwana Kenny is also doing very well with another travel venture that appears as packed with diversified adventure as it is uniquely exclusive.

Actually, after all my personal interest in the world's cultural and social dilemmas ~ who would have thought that money really would be the solution? First things first: We don't need malaria prevention or clean, potable water; we don't need police reform or cleansing of Brazil's infamous drug slums, we don't even need a lot of attention to complicated government corruption or extremist religious ideology - we just need American tourists. Lots of them. Massive political and social cooperation will naturally re-direct itself towards graciously hosting and promoting a safe and welcoming environment for wealthy foreigners (whom everyone knows will not tolerate the same living conditions your own people have had to cope with forever). Hostilities at last aside, the peoples of the world would instead be focused on protecting and benefiting from their revitalized and oh so generous tourist trade.

Too bad Obama doesn't have more ancestral homes. Now the problem presents of what would act as sufficient spiritual draw to attract tourists somewhere in addition to Kenya...










1 comment:

Yaj said...

I am so very, very tempted to say so many, many things...

Um, nice post!